so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
