theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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