I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Barsexuality is the new black.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
