Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
