no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
