I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
