What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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