did you get engaged???
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
