I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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