thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
