I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
