You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
