We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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