I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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