It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize