lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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