I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
