Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
