just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
