I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
