I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
