well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
