let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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