everyone is single if you try hard enough
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
