My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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