you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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