How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
