I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
