So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
