There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
