i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
