I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
