I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Do vagina's smell?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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