he wants to bone in the snuggie
what day is it and did you see me today?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
