SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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