You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I want a musical about memes.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
