i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
