My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
FUCK WHALES
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
