nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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