So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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