sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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