hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You ate ashes out of my bong
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
