This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
