she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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