Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
