4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
