not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Congratulations! We have a period
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
