i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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