Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
love makes seman taste better
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Randomize
