Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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