Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
