You work out of a Hotel?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
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