My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
