The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
