can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
