how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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