idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
