I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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