she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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