You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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