I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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