Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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